Pop Tarts RewArDzZZ

!!!! It turns out that I can get two free boxes of Pop Tarts for every five (of a certain flavors) that I buy. THIS IS AWESOME

Feelin' Adventurous

Today I went to the Giant Eagle Market District and I was extremely pleased to find out that Pop Tarts were two dollars a box, so I bought three boxes! And three CRAZY flavors, nonetheless! Check it: orange cream, strawberry milkshake, and blueberry muffin!

My expectations:
Orange cream--I'm definitely going to hate it because I don't love creamy orange things.
Blueberry muffin--I really like blueberry muffins, so it can't be that bad.
Strawberry milkshake--A toss up. I like strawberry stuff, but like the orange one I was wary of the creaminess factor.

Initial judgment (I ate a half of a Pop Tart of each flavor immediately after I got back from the grocery store):
Orange cream--Definitely not as bad as I was expecting. It really did taste like an orange creamsicle (there is one on the box). It's weird because it gives you the illusion you're eating something cold but it definitely isn't cold. Curious. It's also weird because every time I see something that's orange cream flavored I think I'm going to hate it but I don't. I'm excited to see how this one tastes frozen.
Blueberry muffin--It turns out I'm an idiot because the picture on the box shows the filling and the filling is white. I didn't notice this, however, and I was very shocked to find out the filling was white after expecting blue. Either way, it was really good. It tasted like a blueberry muffin! HOW DO THEY DO THAT?
Strawberry milkshake--I wasn't too impressed, probably because I like normal strawberry Pop Tarts so much. I imagine these will taste good frozen? Because they're a milkshake flavor?

So I put the other halves in the freezer and I'll probably eat them later tonight.

Brown Sugar Cinnamon in DISGUISE

=Cinnamon Roll.

They pretty much taste the same to me. There is different frosting on the top of the Cinnamon Roll ones, but it didn't really make a difference. Basically they're both delicious.

FLAVORS I'M EXCITED FOR:
Icy Cold Polar--what??!?! Is it ice flavored?!
Strawberry Lemonade--this one sounds disgusting. Maybe I'll hate it more than the banana flavor!
Hot Wheels Cinna-Match 1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon--hahahaha I'm confused
Pictionary--...?

Discontinued flavors I'm surprised ever existed in the first place:
Hello Kitty Meowberry--I get putting Hello Kitty on the box (blatant product placement is hilarious), but what the heck is a meowberry? Sure it sounds cute, but if there's any possibility of it tasting like kitty litter or salmon I'm not into it. Probably why it's discontinued.
Disney Princess Jewelberry--again with the berries! If the sugar doesn't make your teeth rot out of your mouth, chewing on the the jewels will!
Wild Magic Burst--1) What does magic taste like? 2) What does WILD magic taste like? 3) What makes wild magic wild and not normal? 4) Does it explode...?
Apple Cinnamon--why make this flavor when you could just put an Apple Strudel on top of a Cinnamon Roll? 2 Pop Tarts >> 1

Fruit Generalization!

I don't think I'm going to do any more reviews for the frosted fruit flavors. DON'T GET ME WRONG, they're delicious. In the past few months I've had Frosted Blueberry, Raspberry, and Wildberry. Basically, if you like the flavor of fruit that's in them (you know, like the fake sugary version of the flavor of their fruit namesake), then you'll like them.

I'm not actually sure what they mean by Wildberry so I did a Google image search. There were pictures of blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries. So I imagine they mean those berries.

MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT

Sigh. My first negative review.

I'm going to preface this post with a detail that probably explains my hatred for this flavor: when it comes to fake banana flavoring, I am a hater. A h8r if you will (...you probably won't; I wouldn't if I were you). On Sunday I went to an ice cream place and they had a banana pudding flavor so (having just tried a DELICIOUS banana flavor of ice cream in Hilton Head a few weeks prior) I took a major gamble and ordered it. It was fake banana flavor and I made such a fuss the ice cream attendant (she was really nice) asked me if I wanted a new flavor (I got turtle if you were wondering).

So yeah Chocolate Banana Split was hooorrrrrible. Not good at all. I don't think I could even finish one. I bought them in March probably and two days ago I found two that I still had left and there was one leftover in my freezer. I was excited because I forgot how much I hated them so I started eating them because I was really hungry (I haven't gone grocery shopping in a long time), but I still couldn't eat them!

This post might have been slightly dramatic, but the moral of the story is that THEY WERE BAD.

Frosted Cookies 'n' Creme

First of all can I say that I get really awkward when it comes to shortening "and" to "n." As far as I know (maybe I'm wrong), you need to add an apostrophe when you get rid of letters and it seems that people halfway know this, but why is it that people either add the apostrophe before or after the N rather than both? If you're shortening "and" to "n," you're getting rid of two letters! Maybe people are shortening "nd" or "an" and I'm the big idiot.

Aaannnyyywayyyy
THIS FLAVOR WAS THE-BOMB.COM (if I understand ANYTHING about the internet I would claim that web address and put a picture of these Pop Tarts). So bueno all around. I liked them the best frozen and room temperature. That could be because I accidentally put them in the microwave for a minute rather than fifteen seconds and the filling completely changed consistency into this weird spongey stuff that kind of looked like what coral looks like but it was softer.

I know you were worried

That I wasn't consuming absurd amounts of Pop Tarts anymore. Don't worry! I've still been eating them! I've just spent so much time eating them that I haven't had time to update the blog. So now I'm gonna post my reviews from the past few months. I'll begin with Apple Strudel.

Apple Strudel
Let me tell you a secret: YUM (that was a stage whisper). I didn't love it frozen or toasted, but microwaved and RT were really good. So if you like apples, I definitely recommend this flavor (if you're like my sister who doesn't like warm apples because she thinks they 'slither' down her throat maybe don't try this flavor heated).

P.S. EVERY time I typed "apple" in this post (except for the one that I just typed), I typed it "appel" at first. What's the deal?

In related news, I recently had the apple strudel at Hofbrauhaus and it was the best apple related desert I've ever had at a restaurant.